Pathetic

I may or may not have teared up after our friend bought and took our entertainment center.

I didn't care about the entertainment center itself, is was just the fact that our little apt became that much more impersonal (our entertainment center was about the only thing we decorated semi-cute) and that much more real that we are leaving.

(Sorry I have so many posts like this....get over it.) ;)

Disclaimer: OH and one more thing... the above mentioned DOESN'T mean we are sad to leave TVA (housing complex) I've been counting down for months on that one...I just mean leaving in general.

Change? Yes please.

I have a really hard time dealing with change and transitions. With graduation coming up just around the corner, I'm ecstatic, but beyond nervous too. I've been thinking that I've been a student for approx 20 years straight, and after December 17th, my life will completely change.

Yeah, maybe I'll end up going to school again, but probably not; and I know that you continue to learn...blah blah blah but my days of being a legit student are limited.

I have mixed feelings about this, but for now those feelings are dominated by GREAT JOY. I'm just ready to be done!!

What has helped this process along in wanting to move on, is the fact that I'm getting really annoyed and short with things around here. This may not seem like a blessing, but to me it IS a blessing in disguise.

Let's be real, if I didn't have nights like last night (obnoxious awkward single couple on playground last night keeping us up, security not getting off their lazy butts and helping us, Wolfgang getting up to tell them to leave, baby cry, listen to the baby's parents make love, baby cry again...)
Then I wouldn't desperately want to leave this place, and therefore I would be more sad.
I'm also at that stage where I don't care much about either of my jobs anymore, so now it's REALLY time to move on....

So yes, here was Jaimie again complaining about her living arrangements, but I really do feel like it's a blessing in disguise. call me morbid if you want.

2 months

I take great joy in knowing that in exactly 2 months, we will either be a. DONE and OUT of this apartment we are are currently in, or b. cleaning it and getting really really close to leaving it.

I can't wait for this day, minus the packing up and cleaning part.

I feel like living here has increase problems with anxiety, stress levels, and has lowered my tolerance level. I would actually really be interested if someone to do a study on the people who live here, in the rabbit hutches.

Things that have contributed to these problems include the fact that something is always going on. What can I say? I like being at peace in my home, a "place of refuge." What usually happens in a day at our apartment is either:

The baby next door is crying,
or
The rooster is crowing,
or
The neighbors/complex residents are making loud disturbing pleasure noises that no person should ever witness,
or
the baby next door is crying,
or
The whole place smells like sewage because of the sewage plant thing up on the hill behind us,
or
the baby next door is crying,
or
the children are obnoxiously (a word?) playing on the playground right outside our bedroom window
or
the yard workers are using REALLY LOUD MACHINERY that I have to YELL at Wolfgang to talk to him, and can't even consider making a phone call
or
a child from another complex is crying or throwing a tantrum
or
the baby next door is crying
or...
...repeat, repeat, repeat.

Ok, so maybe I'm being a scrooge, but I've had enough. I believe my blood pressure has risen to unhealthy heights, and my chances of explosion on innocent people has increased. This is not good.

I'll do my best to be a good righteous citizen until my days are up here.

(I'll try to say some nice things here now)
The few things that I will miss about living here, is the fact that we are so close to our friends, and that we don't have to pay for maintenance. Mmm....that is all.

I know I should be grateful for this place, but I won't, not ever, until I live somewhere worse with drug dealers or killers or prostitutes or all of the above as neighbors and then I'll think back, "oh yeah, I guess living in TVA wasn't so bad after all..."
But until then...
nope.