I'm just going to say it how it is...
I don't do well with change.
Anytime my life is about to make a dramatic turn, I think I go into denial, and the reality of it hits me at random times (and I become annoyingly and ridiculously emotional).
Last night was one of those random times.
It sort of started out yesterday afternoon, when it officially became known that our chance of staying in Hawaii went from about a 70%, down to about a 5%. When Wolfgang told me and the synapses in my head did their thing, I just kind of stood there in shock. "That means we aren't staying in Hawaii?" I almost cried. In the beginning, I knew that our chances of staying here were not that great, but the ups and down of it really confused me emotionally, knowing whether to be happy or sad, in either outcome (Hawaii or Mainland).
Then last night came along. I was lying in bed when all of a sudden it hit me again, that we are leaving Hawaii, very soon. A flood of people went rushing through my mind- friends, co-workers, and professors, and I couldn't help but break down and cry.
I seriously can't believe the last 3 years has gone by so incredibly fast. A part of me is ready to move on, but the other part is feeling overwhelmed that I haven't done everything that I need to/want to here. I guess that's just how life is though.
It's amazing how time flies.
5 comments:
my heavens. i know how you feel. emotional. roller. coaster. people keep asking if i'm going to provo for winter and I've realized it's best to tell them i don't know b/c if i talk about it i start to cry. hawaii is a drug and quitting is the worst feeling ever. it's sad for you guys, but i'm glad i won't be going through the transition alone.
I'm sorry you guys probably won't be staying in Hawaii, but maybe you'll move closer and we can actually see you once in a while. If you get any interviews in the Denver area, you're more than welcome to crash our place.
You know the best comfort is knowing that you will always have your family with you now. So no matter what happens in life ahead at least you have one constant that you can ALWAYS rely on, your wonderful husband!
Hey and if it gets too overwhelming at times and you think you are going to just burst with emotions, just open your window and let all of those annoying sounds come in your home and then you will be begging the time to go faster!!!! Love ya!
Oh Jaimie, I'm sorry. Maybe there's something unexpectedly wonderful... just around the riverbend.
you can live in my basement... till end of january... but no tva noises.
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