Sincerely, Me

Dear Immune System,

Look, I know we've had a very long relationship, 23 years to be exact. In the beginning we started out rough, but we survived, and from there on we've had a few big bumps here and there, with a side of your occasional cold every few months, or less. I understand that you could be a whole lot worse, but there is something I need to bring up that has been hurting me for a while now.

You may not understand, but letting me be susceptible to colds/sinus infections/whatever-crap every week and a half or so for the last couple of months, is totally unacceptable. You know they do say, you need to put in a full100% into a relationship, and not just 50/50, it just doesn't work that way. I hate to be threatening, but if I could I would sell you, immediately, on ebay or even craiglist, but recycling you would probably be the best choice. Seeing that I can't, it looks like we are just going to have to work this out, so please, step it up a little, ok?

Sincerely Yours,
Jaimie